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‘This isn’t all about you, Cheryl’ moans Louis Walsh on Saturday night’s X Factor after contestant Katie Waissel delivered a tuneless rendition of Queen classic We Are The Champions to the public. Like always, Louis…you’re wrong.
This year, Cowell’s cash cow is firmly in the hands of the Geordie sweetheart Cheryl Cole after she controversially shepherded the quirky Cher Lloyd and ‘sweet and charming’ Katie Waissel into the X Factor finals over contestants who could hit a note.
People; they want pop stars, attitude, not a singer. Sorry, Mary Byrne. They want a voice that can easily fit over a generic melody — an album of rehashes and perhaps another dosage of Christmas controversy.
Geniuses like Tom Waits, David Bowie and Leonard Cohen wouldn’t last a second on the contrived TV drama.
The other night saw Halifax Howard and his crotch grabbing crew, and Italian diva Nicolo Festa thrust out of the competition, leaving the spotlight still on Cheryl’s untouchables (less so on Treyc Cohen — ironically the better singer out of the bunch).
Last year, the spotlight was firmly set on Irish disaster twins, Jedward, who were saved by Cowell over the bland Lucie Jones last year, causing public uproar. Once again proving that the X Factor is a stroke of genius; an extremely successful business in a TV show’s clothing. Simon has merely passed the torch to Cole, to aid viewing figures once more.
Someone should get Lady Gaga to write to the X Factor and telling their contestants to stop ‘expressing’ themselves through tasteless attire and perhaps express with something a little less superficial than plastic headgear (looking at you Katie) on Britain’s favourite karaoke show.